Monster baby and a RANT

***Post edit - I really did intend for this to be a funny insightful look at the end of pregnancy, I know I have made many of you worry, sorry about that.***

I now know why women used to go off into the woods and be by themselves for the last weeks of pregnancy.

Enough with the comments from strangers asking if I am having twins or if I am over due. No, just one (big baby) in there ("yes really," I usually have to assure them - and they still tell me about their sister's friend's aunt that had surprise twins because one baby hid behind the other during ultrasounds - are all these people some how related or is that an urban myth?) and No, my due date isn't until September. (I say the last one with a smirk, just to get people's reaction. The due date is September 3 - but we are schedule for a c-section the August 26th) All in all, I do try and be polite.

And what about the endless "how are your feeling" questions? I feel pregnant PEOPLE! 8 1/2 months pregnant. Hottest summer in San Antonio History 100* South Texas Humidity Pregnant. Getting out of bed isn't so much fun these days kind of pregnant. I have to walk upstairs like a football player doing that odd tire drill because my belly makes my legs go off to the sides pregnant. I have to get into the car in a two or three step process pregnant. I have a (BIG) baby sitting on my colon and you really don't want the rest of that story pregnant. I just want to say to people - "I'm pregnant and that isn't going to change UNTIL the baby is born!"

I also don't want to tell even my closest friends the details of my appointments - and yet all kinds of people ask me about them. It's the same every week, I assure you: weight, blood pressure, pee in a cup, listen to the heart beat, ask questions and the occasional check down yonder. Why do people want to know about this stuff? Someday I am going to saying something like, "I gained 10 pounds this week, pee-ed green, my ankles are the size of cantaloupes and my blood pressure was off the charts but the doctors aren't that concerned." Then smile and walk away.

I am sure people mean well. Truly.
But I am one person being asked by what seems like the world how I am every time I get up, sit down, take a deep breath, sweat, eat, look someone in the eye or put a hand on my tummy. What's a pregnant women to do, or not do...

Today when I went to my two doctor appointments they both commented on my "big baby." Do they really think he is going to shrink from week to week? Perhaps next week I will feign surprise and say "WHAT! When did that happen?"

The whole reason I started this post was because today one doctor described him as a "Monster Baby!" What kind of doctor says that to a hormonal pregnant women? I don't need any help having out-there-crazy pregnancy dreams. I have a BIG baby using my internal organs as a punching bag 24/7, I really don't need to have visions of him being a monster too. Alien-like. It's bad enough when he stretches and I seriously (albeit imagined) think I can see his toes on his foot stretching my skin. Sometimes I grab his feet and pinch them so he can't move it for a moment. That only makes him kick, stretch or punch harder.

I think I feel better getting that all out.
My personal philosophy here is that women have been doing this for thousands of years - I am no different. I have no grand tale to tell. Sometimes I think I am disappointing people with my boring pregnancy. It is what it is.

Big Monster Gummy Bear Baby
is all I have to offer you!
:)