Not holding my breath

Yep, not holding my breath. Today was one of those days that you just keep shaking things off thinking, it can't get much worse right and then....

So, I didn't write about the acrylic paint in the carpet last weekend because I really would like to forget the dinner plate size matching red stains accompanied by 3 or 4 fifty cent piece yellow stains that are now the first thing you see when you walk into the family room. Our famous and yet somehow never seen guests "I didn't" and "He did" were the guilty party. Enough said.


But today. Today! Urgh!
Liam out of curiosity disassembled the doorknob and deadbolt to the door that leads to the garage. Why? Why? Why? He gives me this innocent look like "well Mom, why do they put screws in them if you aren't supposed to take them off?" But he is obviously to intelligent to ask that question when he isn't sure if I am demon Mommy or Liberal Arts Mommy for the day. I hadn't even had breakfast!
Noble thinking he was somehow magic pulled the plastic mug he IS supposed to use out from under the ceramic mug that he is encouraged not use - but he was also on a step stool reaching the third shelf, from which the ceramic mug tumbled to tile floor and shattered. (and just as a RS sisters was "stopping by" to give me bad news)
Hewy thinks that everyday when you are done with breakfast the appropriate response is to dump you leftover cereal and milk on the table, push it around like finger paints and then lap up that little bit he is still hungry for like a puppy.
Hewy also has a creative streak in him and he is oddly prone to drawing circles (perhaps he is sketching Momma's life (me running in circles), however he chooses his canvases carefully. Like my Alder wood dish cabinet, new painted walls and brothers grammar book. They are kind of like crop circles only in crayon or black permanent marker.
Liam, we all know has taken a liking to cooking. Today Noble (being 8 is allowed to use the toaster over without supervision) made chicken nuggets. Liam decided to marinate carrot sticks in lime juice with lime zest. (adventurous, yes, I know!) I turned away so he couldn't see my face as I delightfully sampled his new creation and then it hit me - "ZEST?" How did you get lime zest? And Noble holds up the foot long Microblade from the sink, "with this!" YIKES! Do these kiddos not know their mother is afraid not only of sharp objects but of her LOVED ones using sharp objects? Isn't it enough that I have approved steak knives to be used in the kitchen for preparing purposes?

That was all today, and not the evening.
Liam wiped sour cream that he decided he didn't like after slathering his bean burrito with it on the kitchen chair and then rubbed it in so that I wouldn't notice.

Tomorrow is another day. I will breath more tomorrow.